Fiddle Faddle

12/19/12

As fast as a thought, Captain America turned and hurled his shield toward the sound in the dark room.  

"Jesus!" shouted Tony as he turned on the light switch near the front door.  "You almost took my head off.  Calm the fuck down."

"It's not my job to be calm," the Captain placidly replied, catching the shield on its return curve.  

"Yeah, well it's also not your job to destroy the apartment.  You know, SOMEONE has to pay to repair this place once the mission is over and we move out, and I bet it's not going to be you, Captain  Army Pension."  Tony glanced over toward the splintered ruin that had been the kitchen door.  "Already preeeeetty sure I'm not getting my deposit back."

"He did warn you."

"He did, but I did not understand how serious he was."

"The man likes his Fiddle Faddle."

"I'll never forget to buy it again, that's for sure."  Tony went into the kitchen, kicking pieces of door aside as he went, and put the bags he'd been carrying down on the counter.  "Look," he said, pulling out the familiar box and shaking it in the Captain's direction, "Got three of them."

"Did you get my pie?"

Tony continued to put the groceries away, not answering.  

"Did you get my pie?"

"Well, here's the thing."

"Darnit, Tony, I jus-"

"Now hang on, I got a pie.  Here it is, right here.  It's just that..."

"What?"

"They only had Dutch apple."

“Oh, perfect.”

Sighing heavily, Tony turned to look the Captain in the eye.  "It's apple pie, like you requested.  It was made right in the store, right here in America.  By immigrants, probably.  What could be more American than that?"

"Sure, Tony.  It's like that old expression, 'As American as Dutch apple pie.'"  Tony smirked as the Captain walked away.  

"Well you've got me there."  Tony, now laughing, shook his head.  "You're a real asshole, you know that?"

"Must be the company I keep."