It's been brought to my attention that modern young people, though uniformly pretty awesome at Halo, have somehow reached adulthood lacking certain basic life skills. If this is because nobody thought to teach them, or because they couldn't be bothered to learn, I don't know. What I do know is that intelligent people who eat every meal in restaurants and have shockingly untidy homes are everywhere these days, and I aim to do what I can to help them. And make fun of them a little.
In light of those goals; here is a simple breakfast recipe. It serves two people and improves your life. You're welcome.
You will need:
4 Eggs
1 oz milk
Handful shredded cheese (any)
4 whole strips of bacon
4 slices bread
One medium-sized bowl
One fork
One large skillet
One wooden spoon or silicone spatula
2 paper towels
a toaster
a stove or hotplate
half a brain
Starting from pristine kitchen, get eggs, bacon, milk, and cheese out of refrigerator. Put large skillet on stove, turn burner to MED heat, add bacon. Get out small (cereal-size) bowl. Crack 4 eggs into bowl, add handful of shredded cheese and one oz (shotglass full) milk. Shake salt and pepper into bowl for about five seconds each or more, depending on taste. Stab egg yolks with a fork and stir egg mixture until incorporated. Turn bacon over. Get two paper towels and lay them on a plate or on the countertop near the stove. Pick up every one of your damn socks and put them in the hamper. If the hamper is full, start a load of laundry. Transfer cooked bacon to paper towels.
Pour egg mixture into same skillet. Stir once with silicone spatula or wooden spoon. Wash bowl and fork. Dispose of eggshells and put away any ingredients that may still be out. Toast the bread. Continue stirring eggs until they no longer run in a tilted pan.
Serve on two plates and then wash those plates and the skillet and spatula when you're done eating. If you have to be told about forks, then I'd like to recommend that you just use plastic ones because the metal kind are for grownups.
